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16 December, 2009

Out With The Old...In With The New (Test Your Sense of Humor)

Greetings Everyone!

It's that time of the year again...the eve of yet another new year...a time for reflection on the outgoing year...speculation on the incoming year...time to ruminate on New Year's resolutions and such.

In keeping with that theme, I've been doing some reflecting, speculating, ruminating, and resolving myself and I'm anxiously awaiting the start of the new year, so I can put my money where my mouth is and get to work! And before you ask, no, I'm not planning on joining a gym or committing myself to running thirty-eight miles every morning. No since in starting off a new year with flat out lies, now is there? I have, however, been compiling a list of realistic goals for myself in the coming year and I think I have a good shot at meeting them.

So here goes...my list of New Year's Resolutions, as scant as it may be. Bear with me, won't you? Rome wasn't built in a day, after all.

Terra's New Year's Resolutions

1 - To stop saying "hot mess" whenever something really is a hot mess, but the fact that its a hot mess doesn't necessarily need to be pointed out.

2 - To stop staying on Facebook until three in the morning and then blaming a power outage for making me late to work the next morning. ("What? You mean your side of town still had power? That's so unfair. Look at my pants...I couldn't even iron this morning!")

3 - To start a Facebook Addicts Group.

4 - To stop stealing my daughter's sweaters when I'm folding laundry and then accusing her of being pissed for no reason when she catches me wearing them, because it wasn't like she was really ever going to wear them in the first place.

5 - To stop telling my niece that my DVD player is on the fritz whenever she visits, just because I don't want to watch any of the thousands of animated movies she always drags along with her. There are a total of three DVD players in the house and so far I've been lucky that she doesn't seem to be all that great in math.

6 - To teach my niece how to add.

7 - To stop letting my daughter use my car when the gas tank is almost on "E" just so she'll have to fill it up.

8 - To actually buy wrapping paper for NEXT Christmas and wrap the gifts I give, instead of just pulling them out of a big bag, unwrapped, and passing them out with a curt, "Here. That's from Santa."

9 - To provide accurate driving directions when people call and say they're on their way over, but can't remember how to get to my house.

10 - To stop asking who dropped a bomb when foul bathroom smells flood a room with only three people in it...me, a coworker, and my supervisor, and I know good and well it wasn't me or my coworker.

11 - To tighten up my resume and keep it handy.


Well, folks, there you have it - 11 New Year's resolutions that are sure to make me a much better person in the long rum. I mean, run. I hope, in the process of confessing, that I've made you giggle, at least a little bit at my expense.

So...what do you think? Better yet, what are your New Year's resolutions? SHARE!

Until Next Time...

11 comments:

LaTreka said...

LOL!

I don't have any New Years Resolutions as funny as yours. They only one I have is to stay off Facebook during work hours. OMG it is so addictive!

Anonymous said...

Hilarious! Terra, you crack me up!

Denise said...

Your resolutions are too funny, Terra! Like someone else said, mines are not that funny. lol I'm just planning to budget better

Tiffani B. said...

Okay, these are funny as hell. Where did you come up with them? My resolutions are to save more money and start exercising. ROFL

Nanette said...

ROFLMAO!

Mary P. said...

Now you know you ought to be ashamed of yourself, tricking your niece like that - LOL! I don't blame you tho cuz my son is the same way about his movies!

Dana said...

LOL! I'm with Mary. I think you niece is getting the bad end of the stick.

Terra Little said...

(smh and grinning) I know...I know...LOL.

Well, the jig is up anyway, ya'll, because my sister (her mother) has been here and seen the evidence of my crimes! Guess what my niece got for Christmas...a PORTABLE DVD player!

I've been busted and she has served up the worst kind of revenge. Now my niece will be wanting me to ruin my eyes, trying to watch a movie with her on the mini-screen...

Tee C. Royal said...

ROFL! You're crazy, Terra. Those poor children shouldn't have to put up with you.

As for me, I didn't "really" make any, but I do resolve to stop saying "I'll do it later" and later never comes.

-Tee

Terra Little said...

That's what I'm saying, Tee! Now, if only my sister would realize that my niece shouldn't have to put up with me and my daughter would hurry up and move out, we wouldn't have a problem! I wouldn't, anyway. LOL

I should be so lucky...

希望 said...
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